My Blog Motto

"Good judgement comes from experience, and often experience comes from bad judgement"

~Rita Mae Brown

Saturday, June 14, 2014

Blogging Blah Blah and Being an Oddball

I haven't been a very good blogger lately have I? Well, maybe I've never been a very good blogger, but I haven't been a very productive blogger. It can be fun in a way, writing down your thoughts and having the ability to share and to see what others think, that bit is fun. It seems as though within the last few years everyone has decided to be a blogger. Fair enough, everyone has an opinion, and ideas and we all like to share and communicate. Now that things like facebook and twitter have become more than just a diversion or a bit of a treat they seem to have morphed into our daily process of interacting with others. They feel like a necessity. Up in the morning, have your cup of coffee or however it is you start your day and then right to the device to check up on your facebook. Lunchtime, check your facebook. Home from work..facebook. Ooops my phone dinged, someone replied on facebook, better see what that's about. And all of a sudden the world is awash with our thoughts, ideas and opinions. It's all out there, forever. Every bad mood, every little disagreement, every lunch someone ordered at the deli, every latte at Starbucks, every cute face your dog made (guilty) you get the point, it's almost like why have a blog when our lives are moment by moment recorded, out on display, reviewed and critiqued every day?
Of course there are many brilliant minds and amazing writers who do have blogs worth reading. Why bother trying to get published in an industry that is overwhelmed and frankly probably highly controlled for content? Write a blog.
Then there are people who really, really just like to hear themselves talk, no shortage of those, and they can reach a much larger audience with a blog. Why limit your rants to friends and family who have all heard what you have to say a zillion times?
I am fascinated by how different the world is for young people who have always had the internet. And smartphones. For them instant communication with a relatively unlimited audience is just the way things are. They can't imagine having to wait to use a telephone to confess some deep dark secret or some bit of exciting news to their best friend. Or having to wait for a piece of mail to arrive in response to a letter you sent a week earlier. Or the intimacy of the sweaty piece of paper cautiously being unwrapped while hiding in the bathroom stall at school awaiting the answer to the big question 'do you like me?'
I'm only a bit nostalgic for those times. Really I thrive on the ability to be able to have instant responses. I'm thrilled by the fact that some of the people I have the most stimulating conversations with are people I would never have known before the internet, and who I may never meet in person. I care about these people and I know they care about me. I've always been a bit of an oddball and good friends are hard to come by. I think many of the people I've grown close to online are cut from the same cloth. When I was so sick and miserable on treatment for Hepatitis C I found groups and individuals who offered real support and understanding because they knew exactly what I was experiencing. It was a wider base than I could have had access to by going to the one and only support group that was offered in town and consisted of about 20 people at best. In my experience, being an oddball, in a group that size I'm lucky to find one or two who really clicks with all of the aspects of my life not just the topic of the group.
So ok, I've been an inconsistent blogger. I won't say bad, I won't say great, I just am who I am, quirky, oddball, whatever. I am a voracious communicator, although I'm not even sure 'voracious' fits in that context, but it's my blog so I'm using it that way. And isn't that the beauty of all this. We can do it our way, so long as we're not claiming to be experts or speaking on a topic that requires study and expertise. If I am an expert in anything it's doing things in my own oddball way and encouraging others to embrace their own eccentricities. So this post is dedicated to all my friends, near and far, in person and online, I am so grateful for you all and for your humor, honesty and courage to be yourselves! Thank you for being you.
Peace and Love,
Jenny

© 2010-2014 Nanakoosa’s Place, authored by Jennifer Hazard

Sunday, May 18, 2014

Pharmaceutical Sexy

"These are the years of your life when you know who you are...and you should live like it" This line is from an ad for Viagra or some equivalent product.
The reason middle aged and older people are comfortable with who we are and choices we make is, in my opinion, largely due to the lack of hormones that these products attempt to stimulate or simulate. It's quite simple, us older people are more wise and confident because we are not constantly obsessing about how to get laid!!!!
Granted I'm not sure how Viagra works, but it is only one of a few products and schemes designed to enable older adults to 'feel sexy', and perform sexy.. There is HRT (Hormone replacement therapy) for women which is designed to help with the symptoms of menopause and presumably is of some benefit in preventing certain types of cancer. I did not choose to try this option myself, but I don't hold it against anyone who does especially if their menopause symptoms are interfering with daily life. I have heard some women, including a celebrity or two, advocate HRT for the youthful effects. Some are cosmetic, apparently hormones can stave off some of the changes that effect the aging process, but I've also heard women gushing about their increased sex drive. I guess this comes in handy for celebrity women who seem to wear young men on their arm like fashion accessories, but most of us don't need to keep up with a 20 something libido. Speaking for myself when recalling my own libido at ago 20 something, I'm not so sure I'd want to revisit that intensity. Hey it was great at the time and I took ample advantage of the opportunities but 30 years later I am just naturally inclined to save my energies for other things.
I'm not saying that once we hit a certain age we ought to become celibate, close up shop completely, but like so many other interpersonal relationships things do change with age and experience. And to give credit where credit is due this change in my activities is not entirely the result of some inner peace and harmony or great spiritual awakening, it's pretty much quite simply a change in hormonal composition. It's a change I can live with and since I was one of those people who seemed to have an overflow of hormones in my youth, it's actually been a relief. It was hard work keeping up with all those demands my body kept insisting I fulfill.
So you all rock on with your pharmaceutical hornyness if that makes you happy, for me I'll take the peace of mind.



© 2014 Nanakoosa’s Place, authored by Jennifer Hazard

Monday, March 24, 2014

Long ass winter

Yes it has been,  literally and figuratively.  I opened my blogger account for the first time in over a month and there are a half dozen unfinished drafts.
This winter has sapped me of my soul I swear.
It's really rather unpleasant to have the experience of going outdoors become physically and emotionally painful.
I don't know what my issue is but I've been labeled as depressed, chronically fatigued and a few other trendy diagnoses. All I know is that there are periods of time when I have no energy and no motivation.  It's not as though I'm particularly unhappy at these times,  I'm just not that into doing much. And that's the average day. On the bad days my body resists any plans my brain might consider. It doesn't just resist, it aches, it refuses, it calls a general strike.
It is in winter that I feel like a bear, I just want to eat a lot of fat and sleep.
I'm waking up and emerging from hibernation now and feeling my creativity re emerging as well,  and not a moment to soon, I was beginning to bore myself.
Happy Spring and to those of us in the southern hemisphere, Happy Autumn!

Peace

Friday, February 14, 2014

Deep Winter Freezeout

I haven't been much into blogging lately. It was very fun at first. Social Media can be a scrapbook or story journal of one's life, but one you get to share with complete strangers as well as friends and acquaintances. It's a fun way to reality test your perception of yourself, getting feedback from someone who you will probably never meet in real life, someone who has nothing to gain or lose by being completely honest in their reactions to your thoughts and or artwork etc. is simultaneously liberating and risky. In the long run it's probably therapeutic for me to do this from time to time. I do like to have the opportunity to bounce my ideas and feelings off several diverse others and have them share their experiences with me
If your reaction carries no cost as well, you are free to risk being thrown for a loop. We can learn a lot about ourselves by being thrown for a loop, caught off guard, called on our shit. Our friends are less likely to do this for us for various reasons that I'm sure we're all aware of.
That's all cool for a while, then you start to realize that every damn person in the world has an opinion and some are more alluring than others. For me the type of storytelling or editorializing varies with my current state of mind and mood. So I'll read one blog for a bit then switch to something else for a while.
That type of selective yet interactive way of relating to other people can provide us with interesting opportunities to learn from the way we interact with others.
 Especially now when I don't get out and meet new people like I used to when I was young or even when I was in school or working. When I was on Interferon/Ribavirin treatment for Hepatitis C for a whole year I was so sick and weak I hardly ever left my bed. My computer was my door to the outside world and other people, especially since I was able to find other people, from all over the world, of all ages and backgrounds, who were experiencing the same thing I was. It's very difficult to understand how that treatment effects you  unless you have been through it. It's a great comfort to have people who truly understand.
I just wanted to check in with an update and see how everyone is doing. I've been doing a lot of reading and writing, not blog writing, other stuff, and battling with cabin fever or the temptation to retreat into total hibernation. I'm trying to appreciate the beauty of winter as often as possible and I'm fortunate to not have to be out n the wicked cold if I don't want to, at least not very much.
Next month I'm off to California with my daughter to visit my Mother and Brother! Good times ahead!


© 2010-2014 Nanakoosa’s Place, authored by Jennifer Hazard

Friday, December 13, 2013

Soul's Choice



Why are we here? What is my life purpose? Does any of this matter? These are the kinds of questions that most mid-life people begin to ask ourselves After havng established a career, education, family and all the things young adults create for themselves there comes a point where we begin to question life's bigger picture.




There are people who say that we each come into this life with a pre chosen plan, a lesson plan more or less. Many of these people describe human beings as spiritual beings on a human journey, each soul desiring to experience the full range of human BE-ing. This is a handy answer for the conondrum of human suffering and cruelty. These difficulties don't really amount to much in the Big Picture, they tell us, other than to fulfill a souls desire, or curiosity for experience. Some people argue that Karma operates as a system of checks and balances, explaining our misfortues as "making up" for some sin or debauchery we may have committed in a past life. Others (and I lean more toward this philosophy) view the Karmic journey as an adventure where the soul samples from a variety of experience in order to better understand itself.

There is a certain amount of comfort in this perspective and most days I am willing to accept that this may be true, if not somewhat oversimplified and watered down to our bland and infantile human taste.

It is also believed that we each have otherworldly companions, spirit guides or guardian angels, who assist us as we navigate through life's journey. Just as we humans tend to anthromorphize our animal companions I wonder if we do the same for our multidimensional counterparts. Of course it makes them easier for us to imagine as they stand around in some pre incarnation planning session reviewing past lives and considering options for future incarnations, much like one might page through a housing brochure or one of those style magazines in the hair salon.

Imagine catalogs for occupation, physical appearance, potential parents and for what geographical location to be born into. Picture one discarnate soul peering over the shoulder of their student browsing the chosen handbook

"ooooh rural India..tsk, I dunno are you sure about that? I hear it can be a little rough over there, not much to eat you know. On the other hand the life expectancy is pretty low so you may not have to put up with it for too long, and they are an attractive race as a rule"

The question of free will comes to mind. Supposedly all of us spirits or souls or however you want to refer to us choose our circumstances willingly, but so we do so independently? Or do the oversoul overseers, over-oversouls, actually guide us along the way.

"Excuse me there, I can't help but noticing that your last 5 or 6 lifetimes have been spent in rather well to do circumstances with two lifetimes spent as a Rockefeller. You have had access to unlimited resources and somehow managed to escape both the bubonic plague and the influenza epidemic of the early 20th century. Might I recommend a stint as an unemployed single mother with a disabled child, you know just to balance things out a bit? Go for the complete experience?"

Personally I think that not having all the answers is part of the 'fun' of life, part of the plan. Questioning, dreaming and wondering is also part of the plan even if we aren't meant to find concrete answers, the thrill is in the chase, as they say. I can appreciate that, and I can appreciate not knowing how it all turns out. I'm not one of those people who skips to the end of a movie or a book...although I might like to have a chat with the author given a chance. That's why, next week, I'm having a session with a woman who channels akashic records, the otherworldly record of All That Is. Despite my open mindedness and willingness to explore life's mysteries using a variety of non traditional methods I am always a little bit skeptical. But I look forward to hearing what she has to say and if it resonates with my Truth. For me it really doesn't matter much whether I believe she does have access some vast mystical registrar of deeds and hall of records or if she simply is able to intuit what I need to hear. As long as it has meaning to me and can offer some guidance on my life's journey, I'm good with that.



© 2010-2013 Nanakoosa’s Place, authored by Jennifer Hazard