Gratitude-the Original Thanksgiving Message.

Nanakooa's Healing Place In the midst of the trends of family pressure, the expectation of the "perfect meal" and media invasion (Black Friday Sales) let's remember the origin of this day, Gratitude for a bountiful harvest and for generous help of others; without these we cannot survive.

I am fortunate to be surrounded by people who embrace the concept of Thanksgiving as a day of Gratitude. I have seen and heard many expressions of Thankfulness and Appreciation, mostly for the non-material gifts in life. Of course having such wonderful people in my life this doesn't happen by accident or pure luck. I've been thinking and writing about personal choice lately after realizing that, as a learned response to being victimized, I had accepted a sense of powerlessness. I believed I was at the mercy of my environment and other people who would choose to manipulate that environment. Life was something that happened to me and it was my job (I thought) to just buck up and make the best of things. Naturally this world view does little to inspire gratitude or hope and it tends to attract people and situations that do not serve our best interests. I remember being surrounded by people who could only focus on the negative aspects of Holidays; having to be with family they don't get along with, pressuring themselves to have the "perfect" meal and getting up at 3 am the next day to be pushed and shoved around by rabid shoppers vying for 10 dollar microwaves. These individuals, whether they had been victimized in the traditional sense of not, obviously were operating with the same blueprint I was. They allowed themselves to be controlled by whatever expectations family or society or the media had dealt them, and they tried to make the best of it. Making the best of something that is not authentically your desire is hard work, it's exhausting and in the end we are usually dissatisfied with the results in on way or another. Unfortunately many people never consider that they have options, that they have the power of choice.
Eventually we realize that if we make choices that are aligned with our values and desires the world won't fall apart, that everyone we love will not abandon us (although some may be pissed off!) nor will any other of the fears that keep us from being true to ourselves will manifest. Once we reach this point we are able to create Holiday traditions that express the best intentions of celebration.
I frequently make gratitude lists, it's something I learned I AODA treatment and it has become an important element in my road to recovery. It helps me to maintain perspective and it helps me to know myself, what makes me grow and what brings me happiness. By clarifying all these elements I find it easier to make goals, to set intentions to plan and work for toward creating the kind of lifestyle that suits my individual needs and desires. I hope that at least this one day of thanks can help others do the same.

One last side note, we often see this holiday as the beginning of the White mans genocide of the Native Americans. While I have both native and puritan ancestry, I believe that at this point there was harmony between the two cultures. Each lived simply from the earth and respected the gifts the earth gave in return. It wasn't until investors, profit seekers and big business discovered the settlers could be manipulated and used to serve their own greed did things start to go bad. It is the same greed and profiteering that ruins so many peoples 4 day weekends with the repeated messages about Black Friday. Sure consumers are getting some "good deals" comparatively speaking, but the wealthy are sitting back, enjoying whatever it is they enjoy on their day off and raking in huge profits. I prefer not to give them the satisfaction, because that's my choice.
Have a Blessed and Grateful day,
Peace,
Jenny

 © 2010 Nanakoosa’s Place, authored by Jennifer Hazard

Link to the Like Minded

Hello all,
 I'm back from my hiatus from internet, with a renewed vision of what role the internet and social media play in my life. While my internet was down I spent time writing "just for fun" with the idea that I could use the material later for blogging if I chose to. One of the pieces I started took on a life of it's own and is still in process. I had started pondering the power of social media and writing that is available to anyone, regardless of economic status, education, gender, age etc. It is an equal opportunity forum, giving voice to people who would otherwise not be heard publicly. We can educate one another, support one another and organize around united causes and values. Indeed it has always been my mission to target a population of women whos inner lives, thoughts and wisdom are invisible in our society. It was a lovely case of serendipity when I came across this article and website almost as soon as I first logged back online after 2 weeks.
 Enjoy, Nana
 A Good Virus: Social Media Storytelling by Kathleen Sweeney
 © 2010 Jennifer Hazard

Geographical Relocation

It has taken months of vacillating, debating and false starts but I finally decided it was time to change residence. My former flat had, through numerous recent circumstances, gradually drifted out of that region known as "my price range" like a rogue balloon.  I cast back and forth between enduring the stress of moving vs. the stress of having basically no money and finally decided to resume my search for a smaller, more affordable apartment.  After finding a few affordable, but unattractive prospects and/or being denied because of pets or credit history,  I finally stumbled across an upper flat only 3 blocks from my former duplex.

Everything seemed to fall into place perfectly, which my former AODA counselor used to say was a sign that you were on the right path. I was able to qualify for funding from a local Advocacy agency to help with the moving costs,  I hired movers for the first time in my life and on November 2,  I moved into my new digs.
It's a cute place, it has character, a huge kitchen,  a sizable balcony/upper porch and lots of closet space. Like many of the houses in my neighborhood it's probably between 80-100 years old and was very likely a single family home that was converted into a flat sometime around the 1940's, which is partially what gives it it's unique character and floor plan, (and tiny bedrooms!)
Now, my sole purpose for moving was to save money, which I will eventually (the movers cost twice what they'd estimated) but it also was an important step for me to make this decision and go with it while in the midst of treatment for Hep C which leaves me with sporadic motivation and low (if any) energy.  I knew I would be doing a lot of the work alone and I knew it would, frankly, knock me on my ass for a few days. I also knew it needed to be done and it was up to me to make it happen.
In addiction "Geographical Relocation" is a trick that people frequently use on themselves and their loved ones to create a sense of false hope for interpersonal change. "Once we get out of this neighborhood with all our history/ with all the bars/ with all our "using friends"/ (fill in any appropriate external force of control that is preventing change) "things will change".  Of course as we all know, we take our problems with us because our problems don't live in the house, or the bar or in our friends, but within us.  Naturally, with my History, I've dragged myself, my family and all my personal belongings down that Yellow Brick Road many times, and learned the same lesson that Dorothy ultimately learned; "Over the Rainbow" is within us all, we only need to look inside to find it.
After moving, not surprisingly I was exhausted. Not just moving exhausted but being on toxic treatment and overdoing it exhausted. Enter, stage left, sick grandchildren and next thing I know I am sick as a proverbial dog. After two days of not keeping any food down and basically sleeping the entire time, I came back to the real world long enough to realize I had a counseling session scheduled with my therapist that day. I gave him a call to let him know I wouldn't be there and why. His response was "oh no everything was supposed to be okay after you moved"
Hmmm, really?
Did I give the impression that I believed that? Did I imply I was falling for the old "Geographical Relocation" self scam? I'm  pretty sure I did not, and yet his response irritated me at the time.  I wasn't sure if he was being facetious or....what. I responded by telling him that I was simply sick with a bug, no deeper meaning attached, and things will be fine.
Funny how once we've travelled the Yellow Brick Road, learned our lesson and moved on, we still carry the stigma of our old ways, even if only in our own minds.

© 2010 Nanakoosa’s Place, authored by Jennifer Hazard