My Blog Motto

"Good judgement comes from experience, and often experience comes from bad judgement"

~Rita Mae Brown

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Resurrection and Equilibrium

I don’t know where you live but here in Milwaukee it's HOT! I’m already struggling with a writer’s block, as you may have noticed, and the atmospheric conditions aren't helping much.  In truth the weather is not to blame at all, if anything it’s keeping me inside and sitting still long enough to type out some thoughts. The “problem” quite frankly, is that life is really good right now. My strength and health are returning, my year long treatment related depression is lifting, which is allowing my prior year long unemployment depression to dissipate as well. Summer is here, my youngest child just turned 18 and I’m in a new relationship. Things are really quite fabulous in fact. This led me to question for a moment whether I need to be miserable in order to create. Part of me wanted so desperately to crawl into that old costume of the “tormented artist”, the Gothic Gloom in which we tear out our hearts and slap them bloody and beating on to the paper (or keyboard).But now I’m giving myself way too many melodrama points. My writing isn't typically all that theatrical and neither am I (although sometimes I like to pretend to be).
I've thought on this for a few days since first starting this post and have come to the realization that I have been feeling a bit guilty about not writing as often as I may have/could have. There are other things I have been paying less attention to as well, but as I have been backed into the wall and forced to defend myself to one of my children I have concluded that reclaiming my life after a couple of really crappy years is clearly going to shake things up in all areas of my life.
For nearly two years writing was basically my only outlet for expression and although I have no intention of abandoning my writing, my world has expanded. I’m sampling all the delicious treats of life that I had been denied for so long. Soon I will regain equilibrium and return to a more consistent pattern of writing and other creative pursuits, but for now I am basking in the sunshine and fresh air with the wonder and delight of someone who has spent the last 2 years in solitary confinement. I’m certain that my resurrection will stimulate new dimensions to my Creative Self, and I look forward to sharing them with you…in the meantime, off to the park!

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