I was also struck with something else, something that I thought I had left behind in one of the several therapy sessions I've been through. Envy. And Envy rarely shows up with out her good friend Self Defeat. There they were suddenly, unwelcome, whispering in my ear. "Why can't you do that? you know why? Cause you are not an organized person. You never follow through on anything. Oh and even if you did, you can't afford a nice antique shelving unit like that. Where are you going to get the money for all that stuff." an so on and so forth.
Seriously I can imagine them like the creepy twins from The Shining. Staring at me with blank, no mocking, eyes telling me what I can't do. Fortunately for me I have learned how to fight back against the bullying that happens in my own mind. I realize that these mean little girls are simply ghosts of an unhappy child who didn't always have the fashionable clothes and the newest fad item that all the other kids had in school. They felt worthless because of it, but only because they were little girls and they didn't know any better. Like most misbehaving children they were really hurting inside and just needed someone to set boundaries and to let them know that they are loved.
So the Adult Jenny did just that. Yes I have conversations with myself, it's therapeutic.
And if you don't believe me just ask that sassy little girl in the corner.
Image retrieved from http://biffbampop.com/2012/10/01/31-days-of-horror-why-the-shining-still-scares-us/
© 2010-2013 Nanakoosa’s Place, authored by Jennifer Hazard
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