What Did You Say?

In the words of my Grandma and Grandmas everywhere, "there is a time and a place for everything".

I'll admit that a while back our society had become a little over zealous with political correctness, almost to the point of absurdity. I think that's beginning to level out, leaving behind a healthy awareness of how we use words to describe other people and their life circumstances.

I will also admit that I do possess a rather dark sense of humor and will sometimes say things that would seem shocking, insensitive and in generally poor taste to the average person. In fact, I say things that even I consider to be in poor taste but when I do it is within context and with people who understand my sense of humor. There are some jokes that are reserved for a select few friends and family who 'get it'. They know me well enough to know that the humor is way of buffering a subject or incident that is probably incredibly painful. They know that I have come to a point where I can no longer feel the raw truth and need a way out or I will become overwhelmed with despair or worse, anger. Social Workers, Medical professionals, police officers and others who work with the darkest, most depraved examples of the human condition all understand this phenomena. So do most survivors. In a way we have license to use this brand of humor, much in the same way that lesbians can call themselves dykes, or blacks can say 'nigga' (although there is some disagreement on the use of those terms within those communities)

There are some words and phrases I see thrown around rather frequently that seem to take hold as quick and easy multi-use reactions. Some of them are just lazy, some are irritating and others can be outright hurtful. But because they are so ubiquitous and so handy we use them without giving much thought to their meaning or origin. Here are a few of the most frequent and offensive examples.


"I got raped by the IRS"~ No you did not. Rape is one of the most traumatic experiences a person can endure. Paying taxes does not even come close.

"Don't drink the kool-aid"~ Maybe you're too young to remember Jonestown. Maybe you don't even know that's the origin of that expression. It was one of the most horrific mass murder/suicides in history. Look it up.

"Are you crazy/ O.C.D/ dyslexic?"~ Maybe I am. Maybe someone close to me is. It's something that people have to cope with every single day of their lives, making adjustments and accommodations just to function. It sucks.

"They must be on crack"~ I'm pretty open about my drug history and I will tell you that of all the drugs I've toyed with crack is the most devastating. If there is such a thing as Evil, it is crack.

I'm not trying to censor anyone and I repeat I have a pretty grimy sense of humor myself but I do think that when we throw around statements like this we need to be aware of what it is we are referring to. Words do have power and people have secrets that they choose to keep personal and private. It is estimated that 1 in 4 women has been a victim of some degree of sexual assault. The chances are you know someone who has been raped, even if you don't know it, so when you decide to complain about your taxes (or anything else) think about your choice of words. You never know who you might be hurting. Thank You.




© 2010-2013 Nanakoosa’s Place, authored by Jennifer Hazard

Brain Freeze and Mental Heath Part II

I did it to myself again...I froze my brain. And not by walking in the cold Wisconsin winter weather either. Nope. What I did was write an impassioned post expressing my concerns about the public perception of mental illness, and then I ended by saying that I had so much more to say on the topic that I was going to write a follow up post. I even had the chutzpah to call the last post #1, implying that I would soon create a brilliant and equally impassioned sequel. I was so riled up, so certain that I had much more to say about this urgent and socially relevant topic that there was no way I could possibly get all that information and opinion in one singular post. I was on a mission!

Two weeks later I have two unfinished and unfocused drafts and I feel like I have painted myself into a corner. I have developed an acute performance anxiety that strikes only when I dare to commit myself to following through on...anything. After all these years I should know myself better.

Of course one could argue that challenging one's demons is probably a noble gesture, or that it's good practice that may lead to changing one's self defeating patterns. The latter is probably true, but so is forgiving ourselves when we don't quite succeed.

I don't know what it is about committing to something, anything, that has this power to completely slam me into a deadlock. I do have a couple of theories.

One is fear of failure. If I say I'm going to do something then people will have some sort of expectation attached to that promise. I will have no way of knowing what that expectation involves and therefore will be doomed to let someone down (this is my irrational thinking, mind you..not what I really believe)

Two, a promise infers a kind of deadline which translates in my mind to the realm of "should" which is a close cousin to the notion of authority, which automatically causes me to recoil. Is this a giant leap off the track of logical thought? Don't ask me, it's how my brain works, it's all I know. But all this circular thinking does bring me conveniently back to my original intent, to talk about mental health diagnoses.

My crazy train of thought and belief could easily be labeled as Attention Deficit Disorder, or Oppositional Defiant Disorder or maybe even some level of Social Anxiety. But when it comes right down to it I'm not all that different than most people I know. When they are honest about their thoughts and feelings many people describe similar traits. Some people manage them more effectively. Some people have a kind of kill switch that easily overrides these worries and the resistance that they feel. Other people are more introverted and would be terrified of sharing personal thoughts and feelings all over the internet. But you know what, that's okay. We are all okay. For the most part none of these worrisome little thought patterns hurts anyone, not at this level anyway.

The bottom line is that there is great diversity in human thought, emotion and consciousness and I'm pretty sure we evolved that way for a reason. It brings with it a diversity of talent and capability for life's essential tasks; different tasks require different abilities and specialized ways of interacting with out environment. But it seems that as we move into a predominately service oriented society and as more industries adopt a hierarchical corporate model of structure and management the limits of acceptable behavior and cognitive processing are becoming narrowed, more specific, more controlled. Creative thinking, so called 'distracted thinking' and questioning authority has no place in this world. So what do we do? Rather than making adjustments in the workplace to accommodate the diversity, we attempt to fit people into a model that does not fit. And if it doesn't work out, then it's our fault for not fitting in. And because we love to have reasons and explanations for things that don't work out the way we want, we look for a cause of the problem. We assess and diagnose and label them as somehow deficient.

Of course we also like solutions too, and the easier and faster the better. So we have pills for that. We also like profit in this culture, and oh boy is there profit to be made from those pills! Now everybody's happy, right?

Wrong. I was taking an ssri (anti-depressant) for a couple of years. Granted when I first started taking it I was in the midst of more major life crises than most people would experience in a decade, they just all kind of piled up at one time. The medication did help me get through a very difficult time and I am grateful for that. It also, I noticed, made me a very focused and docile employee. Hmmm, interesting side effect. This made me wonder if the popularity and frequent recommendation for use of these medications isn't somehow linked to that quality. Now I know this borders on sounding a bit paranoid, a bit like maybe I read "Brave New World" one too many times, but is it such a stretch really? Think about all the school age children in overcrowded understaffed classrooms, all with needs of their own, who are given amphetamines or other Attention Deficit medication because they are more focused, i.e. less disruptive to the class and easier to manage.

Do I think there is some evil plan to turn us all into a nation of compliant well behaved automatons? I certainly hope not. But regardless of whether this is some master plan at social engineering or merely an unintended consequence of an attempt to make life easier the potential outcome is the same. Creativity is stifled, diversity and unique traits are eliminated and, most frightening, peoples health is put at risk. This is especially true for youth who, when medicated through the most significant social and emotional stages of life, miss the opportunity to learn how to self regulate and manage challenging emotions and social situations.

Finally, because I know it will come up at some point, I will say that there are indeed situations where medication can be life saving. For people with schizophrenia and other psychoses it can make the difference between living in a bizarre world where there is no line between the reality we perceive and the often terrifying reality they experience or being reasonably functional . Even then, the side effects of these medications are often horrible and many of them take a toll on major organs like the nervous system kidneys and liver. I think that we owe it to humanity and to the individuals who experience these terrifying and disabling conditions to continue to research and explore other treatments and ways of managing daily life, because all too often it is medication and only medication that is offered as the means to manage their lives.

And for the rest of us who are all unique individuals designed for some purpose in this life I truly hope that we can begin to embrace our qualities, our differences and our quirks and that we are able to utilize them as we co create a world where we are all valued and useful. I truly believe that is the master plan.

© 2010-2013 Nanakoosa’s Place, authored by Jennifer Hazard

How Mental Illness Became the Boogeyman-Part 1

Buried deep within the discourse on gun violence and gun control is a much more insidious mechanism of control that is being injected into the mass consciousness. It is presented with the same fear inducing 'professional' research and statistical slight if hand that drives a vulnerable population to the brink of becoming a torch wielding angry mob of outraged citizenry feverishly targeting the scapegoat du jour in an attempt to preserve safety and freedom for all. Even more frightening is that the engineers of this design for social control are making enormous profits by offering the magic bullet that will keep us all safe from this threat to modern society and safety.

See it is not the guns that are the problem, we are now being told, but rather it is the Mentally Ill individuals who misuse this great and glorious symbol of freedom and liberty. These crazy people are ruining the second amendment for all the rest of us. How dare they? Obviously we as a nation would be just peachy keen with our semi automatic weapons, if only these mentally deranged people would just take their meds or better yet just go away somewhere and leave us alone to play target practice or hunt bears or whatever fun and freedom loving activities it is that people do with military style weaponry.

Of course no one in their right mind would argue that someone who is delusional, psychotic and completely out of touch with reality should be given any weapon of any kind. That would be dangerous. Never mind the fact that people with these diagnoses are far more likely to harm themselves than others. But then again there are some people who do not meet the diagnostic criteria, people who mesh quite well within the fabric of 'normal' society who are also potentially quite dangerous. The difference being these people are not dissociated from reality, in fact many of them are quite masterful at manipulating reality in such a way that they appear to be responsible and likable folks.They know enough to hide their prejudices and hatred so as not to appear to be a threat to the safety of society. Many of them probably belong to the NRA. Or Congress. Either way it is unlikely that these people have sought out mental health counseling or have been subjected to involuntary psychological screening, we may never know, right?

The language that is being used to describe the kind of people who should be prohibited from owning weapons is disturbingly vague. The exact type and level of screening, who would administer said screening and the criteria for disqualification of gun ownership seems to be one of those minor details that congress will get around to ironing out at a later date. Or maybe it was ironed out but the state department spokespeople and the media have just decided that those details weren't newsworthy. It was mentioned however that there will be recommendations to reform the standards of client therapist privacy and HIPAA (The Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act) http://www.hhs.gov/ocr/privacy/ regulations that will encourage mental health care providers to report incidences or situations where safety may be a concern. But again, the specific criteria the factors that are to be considered when determining if a client is potentially dangerous, or simply not ok to own a weapon, are absent from any report or public statement as far as I can tell. (Please if anyone has found specifics do forward them to me and anyone else who has expressed concern about this.) I have some very serious concerns about this, not because I am a huge fan of guns (I'm not) but I also believe that we need to protect our rights and until otherwise stated, we as US citizens to have the right to keep and bear arms. More than that I am concerned that those rights be equal and accessible to all citizens.

Those of you are familiar with the Wacky World of Mental Health Practice may see where I am going with this. Thanks to managed health care systems and insurance company regulations, anyone who is seeking mental health treatment must be given a diagnosis. Anyone. So if I am stressed about my employment situation for example, as many people in today's economy are and rightly so, I will most likely be labeled as having anxiety or perhaps mild depression, or an adjustment disorder. These labels pathologize the beliefs and emotions which within context, are actually a pretty normal reactions to a stressful environment. Furthermore taken out of context and interpreted by someone who is unfamiliar with the definitions and criteria of the DSM-IV http://www.psychiatry.org/practice/dsm/dsm-iv-tr I may look like an unstable tinderbox of irrational emotion, read to explode at any given minute. Will this alone be sufficient 'evidence' to deny me a handgun permit?

Of even more grave concern is the example of survivors of domestic or sexual violence. Many of us would meet the standards to qualify for labels like "depression", "anxiety disorder" of even PTSD. Again, if we are being actively threatened by an abuser is our response pathological or is it a typical reaction to a potential danger? Will the determination of such diagnoses prohibit us from owning a weapon with which to protect ourselves and our loved ones from an abuser? The most dangerous time for a victim of domestic violence is immediately after leaving the abuser. It is also the time when most victims seek out support and counseling and are therefore most likely to be hit with a diagnosis.

Again I do want to restate my personal belief that there are many other ways to defend ones self, and most of them are less likely to be taken from us and used against us; but I would not deny a survivor the right to have a weapon if that's what they feel they need to be safe and they are properly trained to use the weapon in a way that is responsible. The question is will the people making the decisions to grant permits do the same?

The next, and final concern I will address is the danger of painting "the Mentally Ill" with a broad brush, throwing us all into some category of unpredictable, potentially dangerous criminals. The DSM-IV regardless of what you or I believe about its validity or appropriateness is the Bible of diagnosis. It is the mental health providers most commonly used tool. It contains thousands of diagnoses and several categories of disorders. Pretty much any single human being could be given a diagnosis using this tool. It is designed that way on purpose Remember the thing about needing a diagnosis to get any kind of counseling? The vast majority of diagnosis describe relatively harmless and very common behaviors. But does the average American realize this? Do they even care? And even those who do know better can easily manipulate the information provided in a clients case summary to paint a very different picture than was originally intended. Don't think for a minute that it doesn't happen on a regular basis. And worse yet, now that the media has created a heavy fog of fear and sensationalism around the "Mentally Ill", I for one am bracing myself for a whole new attack on personal freedom and civil liberties. I really hope I'm wrong, but don't say I didn't warn you.




For more information om the DSM-IV:
http://allpsych.com/disorders/dsm.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diagnostic_and_Statistical_Manual_of_Mental_Disorders


© 2010-2013 Nanakoosa’s Place, authored by Jennifer Hazard

Another Little Talk With Myself

I was looking through Pintrest at some craft rooms just to get some ideas. I was struck with the beauty and efficiency of the spaces that various crafty people have designed and organized as their workspace.
I was also struck with something else, something that I thought I had left behind in one of the several therapy sessions I've been through. Envy. And Envy rarely shows up with out her good friend Self Defeat. There they were suddenly, unwelcome, whispering in my ear. "Why can't you do that? you know why? Cause you are not an organized person. You never follow through on anything. Oh and even if you did, you can't afford a nice antique shelving unit like that. Where are you going to get the money for all that stuff." an so on and so forth.
Seriously I can imagine them like the creepy twins from The Shining. Staring at me with blank, no mocking, eyes telling me what I can't do. Fortunately for me I have learned how to fight back against the bullying that happens in my own mind. I realize that these mean little girls are simply ghosts of an unhappy child who didn't always have the fashionable clothes and the newest fad item that all the other kids had in school. They felt worthless because of it, but only because they were little girls and they didn't know any better. Like most misbehaving children they were really hurting inside and just needed someone to set boundaries and to let them know that they are loved.
So the Adult Jenny did just that. Yes I have conversations with myself, it's therapeutic.
And if you don't believe me just ask that sassy little girl in the corner.

Image retrieved from http://biffbampop.com/2012/10/01/31-days-of-horror-why-the-shining-still-scares-us/
© 2010-2013 Nanakoosa’s Place, authored by Jennifer Hazard

Your Words of Wisdom

Words of wisdom are recorded and passed on through generations for a good reason. They are well, wisdom. They are messages from those who have have drawn conclusions about matters that concern us a human beings through experience and observation . Some people have an artists way with words and they are blessed with the ability to string them together in such a way that powerful messages are encapsulated in a quick phrase or one liner. I admire people who have this gift. I have been known to come up a few brilliant quips myself on a lucky day when my brain is sharp or maybe on those occasions my consciousness is just a little more open, providing a clear channel for what one might call my higher self or oversoul. I'm not alone in this. I think every single human being has at one point or another been gifted with one of those moments of brilliance where Truth suddenly takes form in one's mind and the words of wisdom flow effortlessly as if released by the opening of a dam. Not everyone thinks to take note of these rare moments, not everyone carries s notebook and pen just in case they are suddenly struck with the Enlightened Moment. And more frequently people don't always believe that what they have to say is all that important. Which is sad because they may often be mistaken.
The individuals whose words are recorded and preserved for future generations are typically those who, for whatever reason, people are listening to already. Their mastery of language or some other art form is probably what got them their place in the spotlight to begin with. Great philosophers, spiritual leaders, writers and poets and sometimes those who are famous for other reasons are the ones who are most likely to have their words captured and preserved like rare and valuable objects.  Due to the mystique of  fame and the idol worship that accompanies it there are some cherished quotes that aren't really even all that brilliant, or witty or even original and yet they endure because of their association with the source. On the other hand there are indeed some words that so completely encapsulate the human condition and universal experience that they strike a chord deep within. These are the words of wisdom that  resonate so clearly us that we feel a bond with the person who crafted the phrase, even if the words were spoken centuries earlier. These words, phrases, poems, lyrics, whatever form they take are cultural gems that are worth remembering and repeating. But anything worth repeating is also most effective if measured and used sparingly within context and with care. They deserve to be treated with respect and tenderness that one would afford to any other work of art.
Another problem with the easy reach of a clever quote is the temptation to use another's words, even if appropriate to the situation, to create a surrogate interaction. When we look outside ourselves and our own hearts and minds we rob ourselves of the opportunity to create something original. When we don't formulate our own answers we shut off the part of our brain that is essential to critical thought. We sell ourselves short by not drawing on experience and lessons we have learned to share that story that is unique to us as individuals with individual life experience. The loss then is not exclusively our own for we also deny others the gift we have that may enrich their lives as well.
Each one of us has a history, a tapestry of events that is assembled using the pattern of our unique perception. For the most part we are not taught this simple concept, but instead turn to "experts" for advice and inspiration. But we all have stories, we all have had experiences that have pushed us to our limit and have taught us precious lessons. We all have Words of Wisdom within. They have come to us through our struggles, mistakes, joys and triumphs.  I will leave you with this thought; who other than you is the author of your life? And who better than you can tell the tale?



© 2010-2013 Nanakoosa’s Place, authored by Jennifer Hazard