It's not just emotional healing that hurts

A while back, in May, I blogged about my next step in Healing; treating my Hepatitis C. So far it's been a bumpy ride, with plenty of ups and downs. How about I start with the good news. My viral load is now undetectable. This is a good sign and it means it's worth it to continue treatment. My doctor seems to think that I can beat this for good if I do maintain the treatment for the rest of the year. For those of you who don't know, undetectable doesn't mean cured, yet. The trick is to remain undetectable after treatment ends. For some people it works, some people stay "clear" for a while then the virus reappears, and for some people it seems to come back immediately after treatment is stopped. There are of course, many variables affecting treatment success, but maybe some of it is just good old luck of the draw. Given the uncertainty of success any shred of good news from the doctor is a beacon of hope, an incentive to carry on even if you feel like crap. Unfortunately one of the more common side effects of the treatment is depression. So for me it's kind of like a day at the beach when I've already got second degree burns. Add to this the loss of income the loss of a social role as a community advocate and sometimes I just wonder what the hell happened. Good thing I've had lots and lots of therapy to cope with depression because my old Buddy, Deena Depression has been hanging out quite a bit lately. And that, my friends, is one reason I'm telling my story, all aspects of it. Some of it is simply Ego validation, I admit that; but there is also the desire to reach out to others who have or are having similar experiences. It can feel like a lonely road sometimes and knowing someone (many people actually) are having the same experience does lighten the load. If you yourself or someone you care about is going through treatment for hepatitis C, or considering treatment I recommend seeking out information from others who have had the experience. An excellent online support group I have found is HepC Nomads-http://hepcnomads.co.uk/ I have found everyone there to be both informative and supportive. Another good resource is The National Hep C Advocacy Council at www.hepcnetwork.org. As always if you have questions or feedback I'm happy to respond. Peace and Blessings © 2010 Nanakoosa’s Place, authored by Jennifer Hazard

Laughing with the Jester

I was, uncharacteristically, nearly speechless for a moment when I first saw this. Then my reaction was to want to laugh, cry and get up and dance. Some people are offended by this video. They feel it is demeaning to those who lost their lives in Auschwitz and other prison camps. It is an extremely painful history to carry and I can respect their feelings however, they have the option of not watching it. For the rest of us, Survivors of all sorts, I think the role of the Jester or the Trickster is desperately needed. We have become either too politically correct on one hand, and too angry and righteous on the other hand; we tiptoe around our feelings of horror and rage and fear. It's almost like we are protecting them. It's almost as if we are afraid that if we allow ourselves to laugh, our experiences and pain will be invalidated. It is my personal feeling that our experiences are what they are, no one knows why some people were chosen to have more difficult lives than others. What we can chose is how to recover and heal. Today I am choosing to laugh and dance in honor of the strength of survival.

If you don't get it right the first, second or third time...

Hello all, You may have noticed I've been futzing with different template designs. I've been having some issues finding the right layout, one that enables me to post the information I need or want to share. Because I do have a website www.nanakoosasplace.com I'm going to experiment with adding my blog to that site. I'm actually working on simplifying all elements of my life, donating unused items, clearing out clutter, organizing paperwork etc. so this makes perfect sense. I've never been the most organized person in the world, but I have also realized that I do possess the capacity for organization. Part of the problem throughout my life has been the chaotic situations and people I have, either willingly or unwillingly, had in my life. I've tended to cater to other's needs and desires even if only a passive way, by denying my own. My theme for this year is all about reclaiming and redefining myself, taking control of my life and my environment. I can only believe that fate has had a hand in creating the circumstances where I am needing to relocate. I love my flat and have lived here for four years, but it's too big and too expensive now. I normally hate moving, but I'm beginning to look forward to a fresh environment to recreate my life within. I will keep readers updated as I merge my blog. In the meantime check out my website if you haven't already, I'm constantly updating it with new information and features as I learn more about how to do all this stuff. Peace, Nanakoosa

Happy Monday

Good Morning, Happy Monday and Happy New Moon. This is always a good time to plan a fresh start, begin a project, nurture a dream. What will you nurture this week? Image courtesy of: http://www.graphicsfairy.blogspot.com/

Independence Day

In the movie "Stuart Saves His Family" with Al Franken as Stuart Smalley (I highly recommend it to anyone in recovery) there is a scene where Stuart and his friend are watching fireworks on July 4th. For every firework Stuart declares Independence from something that's been holding him back. I think this is a wonderful idea! What are you ready to Declare Independence from?