My Diminishing Vanity Takes a Hike

Image courtesy of the fabulous Graphics Fairy

Yep, there she goes, right out the door, not even looking back. Her Haughtiness, turns her heel and says "piss off Jenny"
Why this sudden break up with my old friend? Well, actually it's not sudden, we've been drifting apart for quite some time now. She stood by with her arms crossed shaking her head when I stopped wearing eyeliner everyday. Then when I got the dogs I started leaving the house in all sorts of unacceptable clothing, flannel sleep pants, sweats, a nightgown tucked into my jeans.
"Pssh, so trailer trash!" she would mutter as she sat down crossing her long lean legs refusing to accompany me on the walk that would involve, at some point, bending over to pick up a large pile of poop with an old bread bag.
The last tantrum occurred when I decided to stop wearing a bra.
"Oh come on now, you are in your 50's! You've got one of them pointing one way, one the other and they're not as perky as we used to be you know!" She in that snarkey adolescent tone of voice.
I think for a moment, and decide that I really don't care because, much to Vanity's dismay, I no longer wear shirts that cling to my torso like a glove. And as far as attempting to create some sort of cleavage with the bras that are designed to do so as some kind of favor for us 'smaller breasted women', I'm sick of the way they dig into my ribs. Besides once they take a wrong turn into the washing machine they get all knocked out of whack and generally don't hold things in place like they're supposed to anyway. That rogue left boob just pops right out of the whole 'push up' operation that is a sad attempt to create a mysterious and alluring valley between it and it's sister.
So Vanity was already pissed off at me and I've been ignoring her little fits. The big break came at the eye doctor. I had been indulging my dear friend a bit by not wearing glasses until both of us realized that squinting and not recognizing people from 20 feet away was also quite unbecoming. I did such a good job of ignoring my glasses that they went away. I have no idea where they went which sucks because at my last eye appointment Vanity was on task.. I also had a job, and money. I was able to pay the extra 200 bucks for the no line bifocals.Vanity was happy with that.
"No one has to know we have bifocals" she whispered giddily all the way home as I teetered about trying to adjust my eyes to the invisible boundary between super zoom and simple clarity.
Now 3 years and 15 all out fights with Vanity later I have settled on bifocals WITH LINES! Even I am somewhat horrified by this recent development. So today as I head out to pick up my new glasses bringing Sensibility along with me (she probably wears bi-focals...and comfortable shoes) I'll be peering over my shoulder for my old friend. If imaginary friends could come up with real cash I might indulge her, until then I guess Sensibility and I will be chumming around for a while.
© 2010-2012 Nanakoosa’s Place, authored by Jennifer Hazard

The Perfect Body

What image comes to mind upon hearing that phrase..."the perfect body"? Remember in the 70's Bo Derek was a "10", in the 80's, well I'm not sure what the heck was going on there but a lot of people were into aerobics, jazzercise and fitness gurus. In the last couple of decades things have improved...slightly, slowly. Among my daughters' generation it is desirable to have “booty", a nice big juicy butt. This is good because many women carry their weight in their hips, thighs and butt unlike the androgynous teenage boy look that was sold to us in the 60's and 70's. But to have a look or body type become "vogue" is precisely the problem. It's hard enough keeping up with wardrobe style changes (I don't even bother) but body type changes? Hah. If thin is in, thick is out, if thick is slick thin is out; meanwhile as the trends change we all living in the body genetics gave us.
There has been much to say, written, discussed and filmed to address the impact of the media (especially advertising) on women’s self image. It's not breaking news that many of us, especially younger women compare ourselves to unrealistic ideal that we see in the media. When I was a teenager and into my early 20's it didn't even occur to me that the bouncy curls and wild waves that adorned women’s' crowns were actually permed, styled, sprayed, teased and otherwise cajoled into looking that way. I honestly thought that was how they looked naturally. My own hair was fine, straight and would not hold a curl no matter how hard I tried. I actually cried one night because my boyfriend was flirting with a "Big Hair" girl. And the worst part was it never occurred to me at the moment that any man shallow enough to choose one woman over another based hair volume was probably not someone I'd want to be with anyway.
Now getting "older" and having sustained a certain amount of wear and tear, I am extremely grateful that I have eradicated the deadly sin of envy from my frame of reference. We are pressured to look a certain way when we are young, and as we age we are pressured to maintain that ideal which isn't even realistic for a young woman much less a 50 year old who has had babies, fallen off motorcycles, washed hundreds of thousands of dishes and all the other experiences that can affect how we age.
Plastic surgery which began as a quirky trend utilized by celebrities has now become disturbingly commonplace. It’s not only the extremes of actual surgical alteration that is becoming normalized, If a woman resists dying her hair as it grays she is either "so brave" (a phrase often delivered condescendingly) or is simply seen as eccentric. Once again the "old hippie" stereotype is invoked to dismissively invalidate a woman’s conscious, self affirming choice.
On the flip side I would be a hypocrite if I condemned women who do choose to dye their hair, go to the gym to maintain that perfect tone, or even get some "work done". After all we’re talking about our bodies, our choice; Choice being the key issue. If a woman chooses this route because she can afford it and she does it for herself with self awareness and confidence, I say go to it. After all I have altered my body with tattoos, piercings and the occasional purple or blue hair coloring; but I have also come to appreciate and love the scars, the stretch marks and all the imperfections that each tells a chapter in my story. Does this mean I'm always happy when I look in the mirror? Hell no, I haven't transcended vanity, I'm only human. But I no longer allow those disappointments (I'm talking to you cellulite) to drive me to making obsessively poor choices including berating myself for not living up to some unrealistic Ideal.
This is a topic I'd like to follow up on, there's so much more to be said. In the meantime I'd love to hear my readers’ thoughts and experiences with body image: either in comments here or on my Facebook group (see link in sidebar) I'm also including a link to The Now Foundation’s "Love Your Body" campaign. They have some wonderful projects, especially those designed for college age women. I strongly encourage you to check out the link!
http://loveyourbody.nowfoundation.org/

Peace...and Love your Body, it is your temple.
Jenny
© 2011 Nanakoosas Place, by Jennifer Hazard

The "perfect body"

The “perfect body”

What image comes to mind upon hearing that phrase..."the perfect body"? Remember in the 70's Bo Derek was a "10", in the 80's, well I'm not sure what the heck was going on there but a lot of people were into aerobics, jazzercise and fitness gurus. In the last couple of decades things have improved...slightly, slowly. Among my daughters' generation it is desirable to have “booty", a nice big juicy butt. This is good because many women carry their weight in their hips, thighs and butt unlike the androgynous teenage boy look that was sold to us in the 60's and 70's. But to have a look or body type become "vogue" is precisely the problem. It's hard enough keeping up with wardrobe style changes (I don't even bother) but body type changes? Hah. If thin is in, thick is out, if thick is slick thin is out; meanwhile as the trends change we all living in the body genetics gave us.
Much has been written, discussed and filmed to address the impact of the media (especially advertising) on women’s self image. It's not breaking news that many of us, especially younger women compare ourselves to an unrealistic ideal. When I was a teenager and into my early 20's it didn't even occur to me that the bouncy curls and wild waves that adorned women’s' crowns were actually permed, styled, sprayed, teased and otherwise cajoled into looking that way. I honestly thought that was how they looked naturally. My own hair was fine, straight and would not hold a curl no matter how hard I tried. I actually cried one night because my boyfriend was flirting with a "Big Hair" girl. And the worst part was it never occurred to me at the moment that any man shallow enough to choose one woman over another based hair volume was probably not someone I'd want to be with anyway.
Now getting "older" and having sustained a certain amount of wear and tear, I am extremely grateful that I got the deadly sin of envy out of my frame of reference. We are pressured to look a certain way when we are young, and as we age we are pressured to maintain that ideal which isn't even realistic for a young woman much less a 50 year old who has had babies, fallen off motorcycles, washed hundreds of thousands of dishes and all the other experiences that can affect how we age.
Plastic surgery which began as a quirky trend utilized by celebrities has now become disturbingly commonplace. It’s not only the extremes of actual surgical alteration that is becoming normalized, If a woman resists dying her hair as it grays she is either "so brave" (a phrase often delivered condescendingly) or is simply seen as eccentric. Once again the "old hippie" stereotype is invoked to dismissively invalidate a woman’s conscious, self affirming choice.
On the flip side I would be a hypocrite if I condemned women who do choose to dye their hair, go to the gym to maintain that perfect tone, or even get some "work done". After all we’re talking about our bodies, our choice; Choice being the key issue. If a woman chooses this route because she can afford it and she does it for herself with self awareness and confidence, I say go to it. After all I have altered my body with tattoos, piercings and the occasional purple or blue dye job; but I have also come to appreciate and love the scars, the stretch marks and all the imperfections that each tells a chapter in my story. Does this mean I'm always happy when I look in the mirror? Hell no, I haven't transcended vanity, I'm only human. But I no longer allow those disappointments (I'm talking to you cellulite) to drive me to making obsessively poor choices including berating myself for not living up to some unrealistic Ideal.
This is a topic I'd like to follow up on, there's so much more to be said. In the meantime I'd love to hear my readers’ thoughts and experiences with body image: either in comments here or on my Facebook group (see link in sidebar) I'm also including a link to The Now Foundation’s "Love Your Body" campaign. They have some wonderful projects, especially those designed for college age women. I strongly encourage you to check out the link!
Peace...and Love your Body, it is your temple.
Jenny
© 2011 Nanakoosas Place, by Jennifer Hazard