Guest Artist: Elly Hazard

 I must confess to a bit of nepotism here; but then again if we are to walk our talk, we will support our children in their efforts to heal, to express themselves and to be true to their inner calling. Elly's art is an example of how we can transform our emotions by creating imagery that gives "voice" to those feelings.
Elly is currently a sophomore at Alverno College and is studying art and education. As a child of an alcoholic and somewhat chaotic family she has found utilized her talent as a means of challenging her fears and anger.

I hope you enjoy her art!

Images are property of Eleanor Hazard and the artist retains all rights to the property

© 2011 Nanakoosa’s Place, authored by Jennifer Hazard

New Feature...Guest Posts!!!

 

Hello All,

I am very excited to announce that after a year of blogging and networking I have arrived at the point that I will begin to share stories, bios and interviews from other survivors, advocates and allies.

This feature will give voice to survivors and will also help promote other bloggers and advocates who are doing the same. We have growing Community of bloggers, writers, artists and advocates who are dedicated to dismantling the walls of denial and misinformation that surround Domestic Violence, Sexual Violence, Addiction, Mental Health issues and Poverty. I am honored to be a part of this Community, to have the space to share my stories through them and to have the opportunity to offer the same in return.

I will continue to share my own posts and experiences as well as having a featured Heroine at least once a month. In the interest of staying true to my mission and maintaining focus my political ramblings will be posted on my facebook group and page as notes. You will find the badge in the right column if you wish to follow my tirades!

Thank you all for being loyal readers for an entire year!

Today’s featured guest is Sherry Clyburn who I met in a discussion group on Linkedin.  It is a closed group by anyone interested in joining can follow this link http://www.linkedin.com/groups?home=&gid=2131700&trk=anet_ug_hm

Here is Sherry’s story; I hope you will join me in sharing her mission.

Peace,

Jenny

Sherry's Story

I am a survivor of childhood abuse which spiraled into a long term relationship with a man who introduced me to a life filled with domestic violence, and unfortunately I also became a non-offending mother of a sexually abused child. I am developing two books.


“Shadows of Silence: Book 1” gives readers a front row seat to what transpired in my life.


“Shadows of Silence: Book 2” This is an anthology e-book, with entries from professionals as well as both male and female survivors from most age brackets, from many walks of life and from many parts of the world.

As a sign of my appreciation for being a part of my e-book, you will receive a copy of the e-book "Shadows of Silence: Book 2" naturally free of charge (there is no selling price for this e-book)

Once I am published I will be presenting something that is rather unique gift. Most authors sell their book alone with nothing extra. I am giving the second e-book to those who purchase it. The second book will contain no less than 500 entries and no more than 1000. I am able to give it because I am paying a one -time fee for the temp plates.

Here's a link that will allow you to read some of my testimony and other articles that I have authored so that you can learn my writing style. http://sherry123456789.xanga.com/

I want to thank you in advance for caring enough to check out what I am doing. I really hope you will join me in my efforts to spread awareness about an issue that affects more than half of this world. If you are interested in adding your voice or if you have additional questions please do not hesitate to contact me at burt222@hotmail.com

I look forward to hearing from you.


Respectfully,
Sherry Clyburn

This is what I believe and why I work so hard to create awareness. Some people are under the impression that we can end abuse. I mean no disrespect, but honestly, these people who believe we will achieve the ending of abuse are looking at a different reality than I am. I might be wrong, but my belief is that we will never totally eliminate abuse. Nonetheless, I do believe we can lower the victim population through one simple equation: Education + Awareness = Prevention.

Image courtesy of The Graphics Fairy 

© 2011 Nanakoosa’s Place, authored by Jennifer Hazard

DV awareness, are we really aware?

As part of my small but determined contribution to Domestic Violence Awareness month I'd like to say a few things. First having an "awareness month" for anything evokes mixed feelings for me. No one can argue against dedicating time to increase awareness of a social issue and it provides opportunities for survivors to be heard. But what, I wonder, does it really accomplish? Do people carry that awareness with them for the rest of the year? Does the help increase additional funding and programs?  Does the publicity really illuminate the experience and challenges of what families of D.V. face?  Are people told that every day women are turned away from shelter because there are no beds? Do people know that women, and even children turn to prostitution as a way to escape their abuser? Or how many women turn to alcohol and/or drugs to escape the reality of their miserable lives, to quell the fear that quakes in their stomach most of the day? And how about the long terms effects of living in a heightened state of fight or flight; how that changes your brain functions and disrupts serotonin and cortisol? There is a phenomenon known as complex PTSD, which is the result of long term regular exposure to trauma. How about the kids who grow up under these conditions? These kids brains are forming and developing under these conditions what does this say for their prognosis as adults? And given that fact how many of these children go on to become abused or abusers themselves?

There is a lot of emphasis put on getting women out of abusive relationships, or preventing them from getting into them in the first place (most of which are ineffective), but there is little long term support for women and children to assist them with the ongoing issues that linger even after leaving the relationship. And what about then abusers? They are basically lumped into one category...abusers, and yet there are different types of abuse. The Coercive control type is probably the most dangerous and the most difficult to treat. Men who use coercive control are the horror stories we hear about not letting their partner work, attend school, go out with friends and tend to more physically violent and very clever in their skills of manipulation. Abusers are dealt with via the criminal justice system, they generally don't do much time and  they are usually mandated to attend some kind of "anger management" program. It takes more than a few weeks of anger management for someone to change a lifetimes worth of conditioning and damage that makes someone capable of hurting the people they love. violent behavior is often a mental health issue and needs to be treated as such.  Just as we have to listen to victims to understand their needs, we have to listen to perpetrators to understand why they do what they do, to begin to understand ways to effectively intervene. I sincerely believe that, with some possible exceptions, most abusers don't want to be abusers, just like most addicts don't want to be addicts, but there are some behaviors that are formed early on in life that effect us in ways we can't control...until we learn differently. There are ways to do this, but they are not quick fixes, they don't come in a pill and they are not applied, or even taught to most service providers. There are a lot of things that are changing in the world. 20 years ago a woman would have to press charges against her abuser or he was off the hook, there were fewer resources for help for families experiencing violence, and women were less likely to come forward and ask for help.
We have moved forward in so many areas of response to DV and that is a wonderful thing, but we need to continue to move forward, to always be open to examining new interventions and solutions to problems, and to not be afraid to try something new. This is the kind of awareness I choose to focus on, to dig deep to look at the BIG picture and to tell it like it is, both what's working and what's not. And please remember abuse happens every minute of every day, don't forget about it once October is past.

© 2010 Nanakoosa’s Place, authored by Jennifer Hazard