In the Streets of My Mind

I am on a climate imposed retreat. I'm not a huge fan of extreme weather which is not a good quality for someone who lives in Wisconsin of all places. I'm sure someplace like Costa Rica would be much more to my liking, but it is what it is. For the past several days as the temperatures have ranged just below or at 100 degrees I've found myself spending the vast majority of my days and nights sprawled on my couch/bed staring at the computer screen. This is causing a couple of problems. One, I am accustomed to walking, a lot. I don't have a car and public transportation is nice when you need it but it's generally simpler and more healthy to go on foot. So I'm feeling sluggish and alternately, antsy from my lack of exercise.
The other problem is boredom, a boredom that causes me to spend hours a day wandering around the crazy hedge maze of my own mind. Like all hedge mazes this can be fun until you hit the moment of panic when you turn the corner only to realize you have seen this place before and good Goddess how do I get out!?  The 12 step groups have a saying ( they have a lot of sayings) about not spending too much time in your head because it's a bad neighborhood, or something to that effect. I'm not a big fan of the 12 step groups for several reasons, and that statement is probably one of their more dangerous messages.
SO let's think about that for a moment, both on a micro, or personal level and on a macro, or more global, level.
Stay out of the bad neighborhood. Pretend it doesn't exist. Latch on to some external message that will tell you what to think and what to do and all will be well.
Well, you have a good chunk of our society's problems summed up right there in the possibly well meaning, but dreadfully misguided, advice.
If 'it' is a 'bad neighborhood' and is already suffering from neglect and mismanagement is walking away from it going to solve the problem? Of course not! And it doesn't matter if we're talking about your mind or your neighborhood because they both are in fact your environment, your home.
Being the Aquarian Community Advocate I am I've decided to clean up the 'hood. If I stumble upon some garbage along the mind maze, I look it over. Where did it come from? Is it useful? Recycling is more than just reusing, it asks us to take the trash and reformulate it into something serviceable.
And how about those vacant lots in there? The hotter it gets, and the  more depleted I feel the more I tend to stumble upon these spaces....the duh spaces. How about planting some seeds? I've started taking some notes, ideas for projects, future blog posts another written project I have in the works. Hey maybe a piece of that garbage over there has a place in that memoir project.
And when all else fails and the place is such a mess, get out the broom sweep it all away and practice some meditation. Like a candlelight vigil or a community gathering that follows a neighborhood clean up lets bring a little Peace into the neighborhood.
Translate it either way, in your mind or in your hood, but whatever you do, please don't be afraid to go there.


© 2010-2012 Nanakoosa’s Place, authored by Jennifer Hazard

A stranger in a strange land...

"I had crossed the line, I was free; but there was no one to welcome me to the land of freedom. I was a stranger in a strange land." ~ Harriet Tubman. One of my reasons for creating this blog, and my website http://www.nanakoosasplace.com/ was my realization that as a survivor, and a survivor of multiple challenges, I never really felt "normal". Even after receiving degrees in Social Work and Counseling I chose to work in small grassroots nonprofit agencies rather than for profit or government agencies. I knew I'd never "pass" in that world; nor would I want to. I would feel like an alien, a misfit and I'd probably end up getting fired. I did in fact get fired from my last job and I know it was partially due to my inability to conform to corporate like standards and expectations. No one was right no one was wrong, it just wasn't a good fit with the changes the agency was making. When I saw this quote by Harriet Tubman, I was initially transformed to the memory of reading her biography as a child. I imagined how lonely and terrified she must feel even while feeling the joy and gratitude of freedom. While her struggles and accomplishments were monumental compared to one woman's struggle with addiction, abuse and depression, I think there is a common phenomenon that occurs whenever we find freedom, from whatever it is that has had us caged. fortunately for many women leaving a violent home, recovering from addiction or embarking on another healing process there is support ready and available. This is especially true in the early stages. But as I had mentioned in an earlier post, "Crashing the Party of Normal Society", many of the systems in place are focused on getting the individual through those initial early crisis stages. It is often when the dust settles and we have stabilized that we realize that we too are strangers in a strange land. at this point we are faced with a choice. Either we allow ourselves to revive our victim role and accept some sense of defeat, that we will never be "normal" or we cherish the experiences and wounds that make us unique resilient individuals and begin to celebrate our individuality. After all most of were somewhat non-conformist to begin with, right? That may have been part of what got some of us into trouble in the first place. I say let us learn to embrace those qualities of non-conformity, of clever survival tactics of resiliency as we create our new reality. there are enough of us "strangers' out there that we need not be alone. There are others who understand. There are other women on the same path, the same journey to freedom and healing. Let's learn to recognize each other, and to support one another throughout the entire process of healing and liberation. If you read this post and feel it applies to you, take from it what you will and I always welcome feedback. If you feel you know someone else who may benefit from reading this please pass it on. If you find a stranger on the road who has a common story to tell, take the time to listen and support her. We need not be alone. peace and blessings, Nanakoosa copyright 2010 Jennifer Hazard/ Nanakoosa's Place.