Friday, May 20, 2011
First of all let me say I acknowledge that I did not follow up a day later as I'd said I would...therefore I will try to be more ambiguous in my promises (I'm sure most of my readers feel the irony in that statement).
Anyway, as I was contemplating Positive Thinking and other quick fix self help methods I realize that I must include the disclaimer that not everyone suffers from self-doubt, mistrust and a emotionally complicated childhood. For those people, I'm pretty certain these things can and do effectively improve their quality of life or at least their perception of their quality of life. But that's not who I write for. I write for the rest of us who have been damaged, abused, befuddled with mixed messages from those who we relied on to care for us; and for those of us who never were content to accept things at face value with no thought of a reality that differs from what is presented in mainstream culture.
Those of us who fall into that category have layers upon layers of developmental mishap to peel away and to lay the pieces out before us for examination. It's like performing an autopsy on your psyche. We visit different professionals to help us with this process and we walk away with more confusing misinformation than The Warren Commission.
We most likely conclude that we will never know which bullet killed our sense of self, but that there was indeed more than one lone gunman.
The purpose of this "autopsy' is not to identify the killers or the cause of death, but rather to examine how it is that we have internalized the messages of our perpetrators. As we begin to realize the nasty voices of self loathing and doom are not our own, but instead have been implanted (either willingly or unconsciously) by those who treated us as less than human, we can begin to release ownership of these toxic beliefs. It is not until these beliefs are returned to their rightful owners, that we can begin to truly believe that we are worth being safe, reasonably happy and secure.
© 2010-2011 Nanakoosa’s Place, authored by Jennifer Hazard