Ditching the Critic

As some of you who are clever enough to read between the lines may have deduced, my recent posts addressing issues like self acceptance and such have at least partially been a reaction to my own frustration at not having been 100% true to my commitment to a daily blog post. I knew in the beginning that I was presenting myself with a challenge; and challenge is good, especially when it comes from within. I also knew that there was a good chance I was going to end up pissed off at myself for skipping a day or becoming too repetitive and so on. Some of us become quite well versed in the language of self criticism, a little Joan Rivers voice in our head ripping at us with catty commentary. Many of us do learn to overcome this self defeating habit, to silence the Joan in our brain and replace her with someone far more kind and forgiving. I think everyone, to some degree, has an inner critic, not to be confused with conscious. Our conscious is reasonable, she is the little Angel on our shoulder reminding us to think before we act. The Critic is more like the Devil on the other side. She rarely satisfied with one nasty comment. She nags and simmers and prods and goads until, "wow I screwed up" becomes "I can't do anything right I may as well not even try". That's the kind of thinking that not only stagnates our creativity but, if unchecked, can lead us into some self destructive behaviors.
As you can tell I enjoy personifying moods, beliefs and thought patters. It makes it easier to identify when we are caught in their trap. So I'm not perfect, I may miss a post here and there, but if I do I'm going to tell Ms. Rivers to take a hike...after all she has much more important people to insult!
Have a wonderful weekend!
Peace,
Jenny

© 2010-2011 Nanakoosa’s Place, authored by Jennifer Hazard

Fabulous Friday!!!!!

Headline: Spacey Hippie Grandma braves technological challenge-wins!
What a relief, after over a week with no laptop, communicating from my phone and my aging laptop which has no keyboard, I finally took the daring adventure into "Safe Mode". Such a funny name because to me it always felt like a very UN-safe mode...I expected the journey to be something like venturing into a dark cave with only a birthday candle for light.
The temporary loss of my beloved laptop gave me an opportunity to evaluate certain areas of my life. I spend a significant amount of time online, some of it productive, some creative and some just silly. I realized that at times I neglect other areas of my life, areas that expand my creativity and are essential to living a somewhat balanced life. I spent more time drawing, crafting, walking and played some board games.
Another issue that came up was my commitment to a non-mainstream lifestyle. I live on very little money and at this point in my life and our nation's history I rather prefer to keep it that way. I don't have savings or credit cards and much of my "commerce" is via the barter system or making/producing many of my own goods. That means when something breaks I can't just hop in my car (don't have one) and zip over to the Mega Media Mart, drop off my computer and come back later with my shiny credit card to pay the stranger that fixed it. So while I was asking around and waiting for a repair person who would be willing to barter, I reflected on concepts like community and time. The car/credit card/ Mega Mart method would have saved a great deal of time...and personal involvement. My method required me to network, talking to real actual people who then went and talked to real actual people. While this was going on, I took the time to read instructions to actually learn some things about my computer and took chances by trial and error.
It has occurred to me that most people are spoiled by convenience, having a car that tells you where to go rather than having to use your own problem solving skills and enjoy the adventure of getting lost and discovering new territory. If something "breaks", people throw it away. I had a friend who was about to throw away her vacuum cleaner; I looked at it and discovered a broken belt and a beater that was tangled with hair. In 20 minutes I repaired and cleaned the vac and saved her the 160 dollars it would have cost her to replace it, and saved a small piece of landfill.
There are many small actions we can take that combined and applied consistently can make our lives more sustainable, reduce our dependence of corporation that care nothing for our health and safety and help encourage others to follow our lead. The one certain thing is, we can't continue living with the instant gratifying, disposable, self absorbed patterns that have impacted our planet, our economy and our freedom.
What steps can you take, or have taken to humanize your community? I'd love to hear your stories!



© 2011 Nanakoosa’s Place, authored by Jennifer Hazard

Getting to know you...(Me)

I hope anyone has had time to look over and consider the practices for familiarizing ourselves with our emotions. It's not something that can be done in a finite amount of time, and I don't know if we ever reach the "finish line'. Rather it's an ongoing process, just like developing any other relationship. I believe it is well worth the effort, essential really, if we are to truly become the best and brightest we can be. In this process, we become an inspiration, source of support and a good friend to others. It's amazing how once we stop trying to live up to the standards of others and refuse to allow them to dictate how we should feel, think and act, we begin to attract people into our lives who respect and love us for who we are. After all if we don't know ourselves, if we become social chameleons, how can we expect anyone to get close? It's ironic that we wear these masks; we take on these roles that don't fit all because we want other people to like us. Somehow we got the idea, the fear, that if people knew who we really are, they would run screaming in the other direction. And why do we have this idea? Because we are not so sure WE like ourselves, therefore why would anyone else?

After becoming more familiar and hopefully comfortable with our feelings, we can start to take stock of what things elicit certain feelings. Part of that is looking at what makes us happy. It may be the simplest thing, like seeing a snowflake up close, tending to a garden. It may be that we have favorite books, movies or music that speaks to something deep inside in a way no one else can. Sometimes it helps to remember your childhood dreams, fantasies and favorite activities. By rediscovering the things that capture our interest and that bring us joy, we begin to remember who we are.

Anyone who has been through a controlling relationship, drug/alcohol abuse or has endured deep depression knows the loneliness and grief at losing one’s self. It's like having had a friend once and now she's gone. 

The good news is, a true friendship always holds a spark that with proper tending can be rekindled to a flame that will guide us out of the darkness.

Rekindle that flame. Indulge yourself in something that brings you joy. You may be surprised at what a good friend you make.

Peace,

Nana

© 2010 Nanakoosa’s Place, authored by Jennifer Hazard