My Blog Motto

"Good judgement comes from experience, and often experience comes from bad judgement"

~Rita Mae Brown

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Feeling Funky, Feeling Fine



Friday is supposed to be the fun free for all day, and yet today I'm finding it challenging to maintain that state of mind. The good news is, I just realized that if I am to walk my own talk, I have to accept that fact. More than just accept it; but honor, it respect it and stop trying to fight it.
The harder I push back against feelings, the harder they resist. For many years after I got sober I was "The Eternal Optimist", always looking on the bright side. The recovery community is big on Gratitude, and for good reason. What some people tend to overlook, or forget, or fail to recognize at all is that one can angsty, fed up, tired, disenchanted, crabby and all sort of other "bad moody things' and still be Grateful.
I know I've written on this topic in other posts, but is an issue that continues to cause problems for individuals, families, and entire cultures. The myopic and undiscerning frame of reference that fails to take into account the wonderful capacity we humans have for complex thought and emotion. When you think about it, it's pretty cool really, to take a moment and explore all the thoughts, feelings and moods we experience throughout one day. We are constantly evolving, even day by day, hour by hour. This is one reason I like to keep a journal, to observe the cycles of mood and process of thought that weave a pattern in and out through my day, my week, my years...
But as much as I find it fascinating, puzzling, frustrating and beautiful many people are not so comfortable with complexity. Our culture tells us to be even keel, reliable and cooperative. Those of us who dare to express our swings of mood, our frustrations our extreme joy are often labeled as eccentric at best, bi-polar at worst. I'm not denying or discounting that for some people there are symptoms and thought processes that can be disturbing, disabling and even life threatening; but let's look at how many people (especially women) are on some sort of anti-depressant or mood-stabilizer. The very phrase "mood stabilizer" makes me chuckle if only a bit ironically. Are we only supposed to have one or two moods at best? Why is it not ok to feel sad, angry or depressed? Face it there are plenty of reasons to feel that way, just as there are reasons to feel grateful, content or joyous. How can we truly experience one emotion without having experienced a full range of emotions?
I encourage anyone reading this to take some time at the end of the day to reflect on the thoughts,feelings,moods and physical energy levels you have experienced in just one day. Are there any that are uncomfortable for you? Are there any that you may have struggled to repress? I'd love to hear your feedback about this and I think it's a topic that can generate endless discussion.
Have a fabulous weekend and enjoy the wonder and beauty of the medley of moods you are capable of experiencing!
© 2011 Nanakoosa’s Place, authored by Jennifer Hazard


  1. Hi Jenny. I agree that human emotion and energies ebb and flow throughout the day. After TX the "normal" seems to be tired and low. For me, being 2 years post tx in July maintaining energy levels is my biggest challenge. If I don't eat right the result is being tired. Today I had a late lunch (2:30). I looked around online for a while and went into the garage to lift weights. It was a little chilly, and I had to wear a sweatshirt. I did my usual upper body workout and got through all the reps with the heavy weights that I had been up to pre tx. I have been consistent for almost 11 months. After the workout I felt energized! It's weird how that works. Too tired to work out, force yourself to do it, and the reward is increased energy. It's so counter intuitive, because all I really want to do is lie down and take a nap. Go figure?

  2. Interesting discussion: what and when do you we "push through" and when to go with it? I remember so well, ill (with Hep C but at that time still no diagnosis) feeling exhausted very suddenly and often a compelling urge to fall asleep - immediately. On my own inclination, and on suggestion of a doctor - I pushed through this and kept on going, again and again. Result? Would feel even more ill, sometimes actually physically sick and shaking, and pay for it in many other ways. My hope had been that by pushing on, I would get to sleep better at night and get the energy boost. I got neither. I learned to - sleep when I could, and be grateful for it (back to gratitude again.) Maybe much depends on the individual circumstances. But we so often have to "bracket" our emotional/ intuitive responses because of demands of everyday life, and it's a good adult skill. Conversely, then, damned good also to have time to be with and allow responses, when able... thanks Jenny. And wishing good energy and recovery to msic 55 ,above. xxx eva

  3. Thought provoking comments. In my experience there are times when I, like Eva, have pushed myself too hard which resulted in some problems. On the other hand I am often pleasantly surprised and grateful, when I have forced myself to get out and do some physical activity. Sometimes I am able to tell whether I'm really needing the rest or if I'm just frumpy and stuck in a rut. Other times it's complete guesswork. I would say that two important points I've gleaned from this discussion are that it is important to try to maintain some balance and that self reflection-awareness of mind, body and spirit are vital to our physical health and emotional well being.